


Belarus Is Angry

by Marfacat



Series: Everyday Family Drama [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Belarus is offended, Crack, Gen, Goofiness, I love big sister Ukraine, Russia likes mayonnaise, Ukraine is Done, she is tough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 07:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14397678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marfacat/pseuds/Marfacat
Summary: In which Russia is strange, Belarus is a drama queen, and Ukraine is Finished with her siblings and their various crises in the middle of a world meeting.





	Belarus Is Angry

Germany knew that it was going to be a long week when Russia entered the meeting late with dark circles and a haunted look in his eyes. 

Not that he didn’t always look like that, but it was very intense this particular morning. Or something. Germany wasn’t good at emotions.

The source of Russia’s exhaustion marched into the room right after him, looking supremely annoyed. 

“His mighty greatness has arrived! Everyone stop what you’re doing and bask in his wisdom and glory!” she declared.

“Natalya...” Russia moaned, burying his face in his hands.

“Behold! The Fearless and most Supreme Russia! Kiss his all-knowing boots and he may consider allowing you to keep your pathetic lives!” Belarus made a show of dramatically groveling at her brother’s feet. Germany groaned. It was going to be one of those meetings. “My brother has selflessly taken it upon himself to educate us poor, ignorant fools in the ways of the world with his Supreme Knowledge of Everything! What would we do without him?” Russia tugged his hair over his forehead.

“I said I was sorry for criticizing the way you make borscht! Please stop harassing me in front of my friends!” He whined. America snorted.

“Friends?” Ukraine, who had been observing the debacle with a slight frown, gave him a Look. “- don’t judge each other for embarrassing siblings!” He flashed a fake grin. 

Belarus ignored him.

“You didn’t apologize at all, you said ‘sorry if I offended you,’ which is a ‘sorry, but’ and therefore null and void! You’re such a condescending ass, you boot snob! Thats right, everyone’s thinking it, your boots are overpriced and frivolous and you should feel bad!” All the former Soviet States winced. Russia looked like he was about to cry.

“But,” He whimpered, “But I love my boots! They’re playful, strange, and full of secrets, just like me!” Belarus looked him dead in the eyes.

“Your boots and your personality are trash,” she said. That earned some ‘ooh!’s and whistles from the other nations. Germany was going to say something, but Ukraine grabbed both her siblings by the ears and dragged them out into the hall.

Now, Germany didn’t consider himself a particularly snoopy nation, but his curiosity had been piqued. He surreptitiously scooted towards the door until he was stationed right next to it. America tiptoed over to join him, shamelessly peeking through the bottom of the door frame. After that, most of the other nations huddled around the door, straining their ears.

“What is the problem?” Ukraine asked, her voice muffled through the door. Russia started to say something, but Belarus beat him to the punch. 

“Well, I was visiting him at his house yesterday, and he comes home in the evening looking very tired. And I think to myself, like the wonderful sister I am, ‘Natalya, I am sure Vanya would appreciate it if you made him some food!’ Because I’m a good person. So I make him some borscht, and I set the table with nice china bowls, and everything is good. He and I settle down to eat, and he takes one look at his nice food that I made him and says to me, ‘Natalya, it needs more mayonnaise.’ And I tell him ‘But there is mayonnaise,’ because there was. I put a reasonable amount on top like a reasonable person! But he- he fucking wrinkles his nose and tells me ‘No, you did not do this right! There isn’t enough mayonnaise and the bowls aren’t big enough!’ And he grabs this- this fucking salad bowl out of his cupboard, and takes this tub of mayonnaise the size of my head and dumps all of it in there! And he takes my nice borscht in its pretty bowl and he pours it in his unholy mayonnaise soup and mixes it until my beautiful creation is light pink mayonnaise crap and he- he looks down his nose at me and says in the snottiest tone ‘Honestly, everyone knows that this is the proper way to eat borscht. You worry me sometimes,’ like he wasn’t the one who just dumped all his food into a pile of mayonnaise. Just, just- no. I like mayonnaise as much as the next person, but what the actual fuck, Ivan?!” She took a deep breath after she finished her energetic exposition, and Russia made a noise. 

“I didn’t mean to offend you, Natalya, I just really like mayonnaise!” He whined. Ukraine groaned.

“Children,” she said, “you are children. Ivan, apologize to your sister. A real apology.”

“But-“ 

“Now.”

“I’m sorry for insulting your food, Natalya. You are loved and appreciated, and also a good cook.” Ukraine made a satisfied noise.

“Good. Now, Natalya, apologize to your brother.” Natalya made a choked sound. 

“What?! I did nothing wrong!” She exclaimed. There was a beat of heavy silence. “Fine,” she spat. “I’m sorry for taking my justified anger out on you in front of your friends. Also, your boots are not trash. They are quite nice. Your personality still needs work, though.”

“Natalya!”

“What? I’m just being honest!” 

“After this meeting is over, we’re all three of us going to church. You both need Jesus,” Ukraine said. 

“I thought you were an atheist,” Russia said.

“You think a lot of things, Vanya,” said Ukraine, “Now we will return to the meeting, and you will both behave, or I will make you wear the Get Along Shirt.” The eavesdroppers took this as their cue to scramble back to their seats and pretend that they hadn’t been listening when the siblings walked in. They did a bad job. Belarus gave the room a once over.

“All of you suck!” she exclaimed. Russia furrowed his eyebrows.

“Don’t talk like America, it makes you sound like a hick.” This prompted a ‘hey!’ from said nation. Suddenly, the usual fighting was back in full swing. Germany smiled despite his annoyance.

The balance had been restored.

**Author's Note:**

> None of this is meant to be taken seriously, I just thought I’d have some fun writing crack. I hope you enjoyed! Don’t forget to comment!


End file.
